This last week in class we were talking about Divorce, what a sad topic to end class on! I found it interesting that about 70% of couples after two years who divorced said that they made a mistake. That is such a big significance it seems to me.  I also did not realize that divorce costs so much, it is around $25,000-$125,000 dollars, so crazy! So there is a quote from Elder Oaks an apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, he said " The first step is repentance, not reformation." I like this quote because we should forgive and repent instead of trying to fix the problem right away and especially some people do this by divorce. I know for me divorce is not even an option. There are ways to work through anything that we are struggling, we just need to endure to the end :)

This past week in my class we talked about Parenting. With parenting there are five universal needs which are power, contact/belonging, protection, withdrawl, and challenge. With contact/belonging our need for this is so great that it significantly influences us. Another thing I thought was interesting is that we have a tremendous need to contribute and that kids love to do so. Also we should notice people's efforts and attempts, this helps validate them instead of putting them down for trying. The last thing that I think is key is understand your kids needs, don't try to control them.

This past week I found that being a stay at home mom was an interesting subject. I always thought I would go to school and when I find my future spouse I will become a stay at home mom. I mean there is not anything wrong with that. I learned that with staying at home and being a homemaker there are some things that I could still do to educate my self. The time will come when I need to answer my children's question, how will I do that if I do not know the answer. Some things that stay at home moms can do is read the newspaper, watch documentaries on the history channel, watch the world news, or even use the internet to learn what is going on. I think that doing these things are very important when it comes to staying at home and becoming a full time mom.

Communication

So this past week we were talking about communication, I think this is very important to know how to communicate right especially in a family. Sometimes we just make assumptions and first impressions with people. There are some things that even I can do to improve my communication skills. For example active listening and validating a person when they are talking. I think a big thing is do not try to fix THEIR problems.       Also don't beat around the bush. With these and many more skills communication can be easy. I will leave with a quote not sure who said it but here it is "You need to communicate clearly so you can be understood but also so you will be not misunderstood."

This past week in class we were talking about family stress and coping. We were on the topic of what a family crisis was which is when change is necessary and critical. One thing that I found interesting is that we talked about the Chinese symbol for crisis. There are two parts of the symbol, the first symbol means danger and the second means opportunity. I think that this is so cool and true that a crisis can bring danger but it brings opportunity for a family to come together in a certain situation. With every family there will be different crisis that every family will go through and many trials that will help bring a family together and strengthen their relationship.

This week was an interesting week in class. It is another dreaded topic...sex. One thing that I found interesting is how emotional infidelity comes about. It often is when connection is with someone other than your spouse. Social media comes into play with infidelity and you connect with friends or old flames and connect. Usually one of the partners was inviting. I find it so interesting that now so many relationships are ruined from social media.

The question is who marries? I wondered about this and found that the answer is very interesting and true. The answer is that people with religious values tend to marry more. After hearing this I pondered and thought that is so true most people who do not have some sort of religious background do not find marriage a thing to do. I also thought as being Mormon, many people probably see us as marrying all the time. Also we talked about how marriage being sacred motivates people towards being married. Sacred means set apart for something above or higher. When sacred comes into the picture, I feel marriage is greatly sought after. 

I thought this week in class was very interesting. We were talking about the dreaded topic of dating. I loved all the different inputs and ideas that were talked about in class. I personally have noticed that guys these days are not asking us girls out as often. But I can understand that they can be very intimidated by us. I also think that we girls can go and ask out guys, I just think that it is a little nerve racking and scary to go ask. I really liked when we talked about how long we have known someone. One it takes at least 3 months to BEGIN to know someone. Two with talk: mutual self disclosure. And third with togetherness do a wide range of activities. We can not leave out any of these pieces to know someone or the relationship will be distorted. I love dating but sometimes it can be overwhelming sometimes. I think we all worry but I think we should not be afraid and have one ounce of courage.

This past week in class a quote really stuck out to me. "For every couple two women loose their opportunity for motherhood." I really found this interesting because it is so true with every couple of two men it takes away two great women's opportunity to become mothers. It is just sad that this is happening so much now. I think people these days have forgotten the purposes of family and what defines a family. From the proclamation to the world it says that "A man and a woman should be legally and lawfully married." I believe this is true.

This week we were talking about roles and behavioral tendencies and there is a quote today in class that I loved it was, "Working together to create something beautiful." I love this because it is so true that when we get married our roles can come together to make something beautiful. We can work together by teaching each other different talents and also supporting each other in our roles. I can't wait to be married and to share my talents and create something new with my future husband when the time comes.

Recently in my class we were talking about social class and culture and how it effects family experiences. At one point we were asked to talk about our own social class and family experience with a neighbor. I noticed that we had differences and similarities. My family is from the middle class where my dad works in the navy and my mom works from home, we have money but we are not poor neither rich. I explained that during high school I never had a job until this last break. Even though I did not have a job my mom and dad still taught me the value of working hard and saving money through their example. The neighbor I was talking to had a way different experience where she was taught hard work and saving by going out and having a job herself. I definitely think that social class does effect the way we have family experiences.

This week in my Family Relations class we were talking about marriage trends and one that caught my attention is that the Divorce rate has increased. I think divorce is a major issue. This week at devotional I was able to here from Julie B Beck and she had a great quote on marriage. "We do not go through the Temple like we are going through a fast food window." I think that many young people are rushing to get married then realize that they should divorce but that is not the case if you work together and pay attention then best chances will be happiness in your marriage. What are your guys thoughts on divorce and how to keep the marriage going?

Hey guys, I am Nikole Ayles ! This is my fourth semester here at BYU-I and I am a psychology major with a minor in ceramics and home and family. I am from Chesapeake , VA. East Coast represent! I love going to the beach, hanging with friends, anything outdoors, and I love sports especially football. You can find me doodling or jamming out to music. I have a wonderful family comprised of my parents, two siblings and me.